Personal Boundaries have a huge impact on all facets of your life.
As an empath without strong personal boundaries, you might find yourself attracting narcissists as well as suffering from burnout and many stress related diseases.
But it is possible to change this pattern. With strength and awareness, you can create a stronger sense of self.
How do you know if your personal boundaries are weak?
If you find yourself often simmering with resentment or anger, this is often a sign that your boundaries are not as strong as you need them to be. Our emotions guide us and when we can listen, we get clear messages on when our boundaries have been crossed.
Many of us did not have the benefit of seeing strong personal boundaries modeled for us, so it can be hard to get a grasp on what those might look like as an adult.
I’m afraid of hurting others
One of the biggest issues my clients butt up against when it comes to creating strong personal boundaries is the fear that they will hurt others if they exert boundaries for themselves.
Somewhere along the line they were taught that honouring their own needs was wrong and made them “bad”.
This is some faulty programming that is no longer serving them.
Flip the switch
If only this were as easy as flipping a switch.
Being able to understand that your lack of personal boundaries is a disservice to yourself on an intellectual level is one thing. Finding a way to break the pattern and honour yourself is entirely another.
This lack of personal boundaries keeps you playing small and often keeps you in the role of victim rather than in the role of thriving human being!
It can take time and real support to help change the faulty program, but it absolutely is possible.
When we give ourselves the space and support to start to see the patterns and to get clear on where they originated from and how they are playing out in our lives now, only then are we able to shift things.
It is a rare person who can do this work themselves.
What does the other side look like
As someone who did not have my personal boundaries respected as a child, it was quite a journey for me to establish those healthy boundaries.
I’m happy to share the difference in my life now.
Prior to establishing healthy personal boundaries, I was choosing partners that were abusive, controlling, and unsupportive.
For the past 17 years I have been in a relationship with a man who is kind, gentle and extremely supportive.
Previously I expected people to disrespect my desires. I felt that their needs were always more important even when they weren’t a big part of my life.
Now I respect myself and if things don’t feel in alignment for me, I don’t do them.
I refuse to be guilted or shamed into anything.
Before I started doing this work, I didn’t have any understanding around the faulty program that was controlling me and my emotions.
It is easy for me to stand up for myself because I know I am worth it. I trust my inner knowing and honour what comes up even when it doesn’t make complete sense on the outside.
If this piece speaks to you and you would like support to create stronger personal boundaries in your life, I’d love to connect for a no obligation virtual coffee/tea.