Feeling Your Emotions
The other day my daughter was talking to me about how in the movies the girls who are coming off break ups are always drowning their sorrows in ice cream. It got me thinking about many of the messages that we receive about stuffing our emotions down.
Most of us are taught from early on that feeling our emotions makes others uncomfortable, so please keep your upset to yourself.
How many times has your little one hurt themselves or been upset about a broken or lost toy and to help them through it you’ve offered up a treat instead? I know I’ve done it – the pain of seeing my daughter suffering – even if it’s just minimal suffering – is hard.
As she’s gotten older I’ve tried to consciously notice when I start to get triggered by her emotions and I start to feel uncomfortable. I want her to know that all her emotions are welcome. It’s okay to be angry, to feel frustrated, to be sad. It’s okay to cry.
Since we are currently living in such tight quarters there isn’t much space to hide our emotions. When I am feeling blue or frustrated I want my family to see it, first and foremost because they are my support system. If I’m feeling blue a hug always helps.
Secondly, the more they see me feeling my emotions the more it creates a safe space for them to process theirs. I want my daughter to know that communication around her emotions is a way better place to be than one where you try and stuff them down.
So where are you on the scale of feeling your emotions? Are you someone who is trying to push things down? Do you often feel out of control because you’ve pushed things so deep that now they are playing a weird game of whack a mole with your life? ? Or maybe it’s not as intense as that.
I invite you to think about the emotions running through you. Are you allowing them out or are you trying to push them down deep?