One of the issues that I often see in my clients and have also experienced myself over the years is the Mother Wound. This idea that we need to be in competition with other women, that there is not enough time, money, clients (insert YOUR word here).
What is the Mother Wound
The mother wound is a trauma that generations of women are carrying within their bodies. It gets in the way of you living a joyous life. Healing the mother wound is a way for you to release victim mentality and take your power back.
The role of Motherhood as society sells it to us is a safe nurturing space. A place where we can come with our tears and our scrapes. Mothers always have that soft space on their laps and in their hearts. Our mothers are meant to keep us safe and help us grow and blossom but for so many of us, this was not our reality.
To give that soft nurturing loving space, we need to have that sense of safety within our bodies. We live in a society that has a deep disrespect for women at its core. Although the majority of people both men and women are not disrespectful the structures and culture of deep toxic masculinity has created a space for the mother wound to continue to grow and expand.
The mother wound then shows up in our lives as an insecure attachment. A feeling of UNSAFE in our bodies. A deep divide within us – where we need Mother’s approval and yet we want freedom to expand and explore this world. What happens next is that we learn to stay small. We learn that our lovability is conditional. That when we do not follow the rules as society has set out for us then we are not safe.
How does the Mother Wound Show up In Business
As empaths and highly sensitive souls most of us have started a business because we want to help. Yet there are so many different hats we need to put on it can be overwhelming. This on its own can be highly frustrating and triggering. Add the mother wound into this soup and you are destined for some challenging times.
Starting to see clients in our coaching business feels incredible. We dig in with both feet. We are working on our business and in our business as much as possible.
Then it begins. You start to notice a little niggling feeling in the back of your mind. Why does it look so easy for HER over there? I think she might have more clients than I do. Maybe I should do what she’s doing? Competition begins to take over. Combine that competition with a side of comparisonitis and your energy levels start to go down.
You might also begin to notice jealousy creeping into your life. You might find yourself overly invested in what others seem to have. Rather than spending time doing your work figuring out how to align your business with your unique gifts and getting to know yourself on a deep level you find jealousy taking over.
Another way that the mother wound can get in the way of your business success is when you start to feel so misaligned that you begin to manipulate others. Sometimes this comes in the form of convincing them that they need to buy whatever you are selling. This toxic masculine way has been taught by many coaches over the years.
These feelings of competition, jealousy, and a need to manipulate certain situations or events are the ways that the mother wound shows up in your business.
Healing the Mother Wound
In order to heal the mother wound we need to first acknowledge and accept the ways this wound is showing up in our lives.
Once we understand this trauma we can then begin the journey of healing it within ourselves. Creating opportunities where we have the chance to be witnessed and nurtured by other women in our lives begins to reprogram this wound.
For some of my clients working together in a one to one capacity has helped to rebuild the trust in themselves and honoring of their own intuitive nature. Other clients have preferred to heal via working together in the sacred container of my group offering find your feminine flow. There is also a third option for those who are more DIY. I recently created a course called Healing our Wounded Feminine which can help create that sense of safety inside ourselves.
Regardless of what option you choose the main thing is that you start to heal and stop the toxic program from continuing to keep you stuck in the energy of the mother wound.