Setting boundaries can offer many challenges to the highly sensitive, empathic entrepreneur.
Having experienced our own traumas as children and perhaps also later in life, we are extremely worried about hurting others. Due to this fear we often find ways to sacrifice our own needs instead of taking time to set boundaries.
Boundaries as a Yes to Self
A few weeks ago on a call, we were discussing setting boundaries and how challenging this can be for many of us. The idea was shared that instead of seeing boundaries as saying no to others, the idea of saying yes to ourselves felt easier.
From a manifesting perspective it is always easier to move towards something or call it in when it is a positive rather than a negative.
This idea of saying YES to yourself is powerful.
Take a few moments right now to imagine saying no to a situation or person that is no longer serving you. Perhaps it’s something that is draining your energy or just something that is no longer in alignment with where you are going. Close your eyes and really feel into that thought and notice what parts of your body respond. What do you notice?
Now release that thought and switch things up.
This time, take a few moments to feel into saying yes to yourself. What would you do with the extra time or energy that would arise from not having to deal with this situation? What would this mean for your life or business? How does this feel? What are the differences you noticed?
There was a time in my life when I was attracting abusive men.
Having experienced physical violence as a child, this was a pattern that had formed within me.
A part of me believed this was all I deserved, and it was comfortable. There was a familiarity in it, although it wasn’t a conscious decision by any means. It took time for me to see this pattern and then make a move to change it.
I’ve had clients describe this to me as a key and lock sort of situation. They are the lock and the various perpetrators throughout their lives have had the key.
Changing the Program
As I got older and continued to heal through some of my childhood trauma, I started changing the energetic imprint that I was sending out into the world.
I started setting boundaries and getting really intentional about what I wanted in my life and what I was no longer willing to accept.
Through this I met my current life partner who I have now been with for over 17 years. He is a gentle kind soul and nothing like the men I was calling in previously.
Calling in the Right Clients
Although the example I cited was a personal one, the energy is similar in business. If you are not setting boundaries you will continually call in clients who do not respect your boundaries.
It’s not that they are bad or doing this on purpose. It’s just that they are an energetic match to what you are sending out. Until you realize and get intentional with what you are sending out you can only call in more of the same.
This creates a sense of frustration and can often lead to resentment within your business which is a toxic energy you don’t want hanging around.
Want to get a better handle on your boundaries but aren’t quite ready to get one on one help?