What does Learned Helplessness mean to you?
Let’s start with Bullying
Plain and simple with no glossing over it – Bullying is Abuse. Take a few minutes to allow that to sink in. How does it feel when you read that? Do you feel the resistance or are you on board? Just allow yourself to notice….
As children we are taught (if we are lucky) that other people’s feelings and preferences matter. As young children we are very much on the me, me, me path. It is our instinct to just grab something on the playground. My young nephew is constantly whacking his brother to grab a toy back or if he isn’t happy with the outcome of a scenario.
As an adult, it is our job to teach the children that all lives are special and matter. That all those around us regardless of whether they look like us, or talk like us, matter. It is the only way to eradicate bullying. It is the only way to create a safer more loving society.
As an adult who grew up being bullied, there are many lasting effects. Generally, as a child we recover from the physical pain that is often inflicted by the bully or bullies. The emotional pain, however, is another story entirely. “Being the repetitive target of bullying damages your ability to view yourself as a desirable, capable and effective individual.” (see full article here)
Imagine how this impacts your adult life. Forever after perceiving yourself as undesirable, incapable, and ineffective. That strips all your power away and leaves you without any desire or ability to direct your own life. It may come as no surprise then to realize the incidence of adults who experienced bullying as a child find themselves depressed and anxious. Since these situations are ones where you have no control, you are being set up for something called “learned helplessness”.
Check out the video below to get a better understanding of Learned Helplessness.
The author of the video made it sound easy – and it is if you have control over your thoughts. If however you have internalized this bullying from your childhood so deeply, you might need some help getting to the place where you can switch yours thoughts each time you notice a negative one coming in.
If you feel like this could be what’s going on with you and you’d like to change this learned helplessness, check out the link below.