Last weeks blog post was on why it is so hard to say no. (click here if you want to read that) When we struggle to say the word no, it can often leave us feeling resentful.
The oxford dictionary describes the word resentful as “feeling or expressing bitterness or indignation at having been treated unfairly”. Sometimes when we have been feeling this for a long time it can be linked with feelings of victimization. This idea that life is happening to us rather than we are active participant in it.
Unchecked resentment can have long-term health implications. These can lead to unhappiness, continual irritability, as well as anxiety and depression.
Just as with all our emotions, if we allow them run away without any thought or awareness, they take over. When we start to feel our emotions we stop being overwhelmed by them. This is when we step back into our own personal power.
Resentment is not an emotion we want ingrained in our psyche. Yet so many of us grew up in houses where we were taught to sacrifice ourselves for the greater good. Especially as empath and highly sensitive souls.
Take a moment here – pause and reflect.
What did you see modelled as you were growing up? Where you taught that your feelings and emotions are valid?
Retraining your brain
If you’ve ever been hiking in the woods you’ve walked on a trail. A trail that was made because many people (and animals) have walked on them. Not just once or twice but many times. When enough people walk them they become ingrained in the forest.
This is the same thing with your mind – if you have a habit of thinking the same type of thoughts or get stuck in a thought pattern enough times it becomes solid.
For this reason it is important to notice the stories in our head.
Many of my clients find themselves stuck in rumination.
The moments when you are replaying and replaying a scenario. You take time out to craft a response (but never send it or say it) and replay the injustice over and over again. What happens here is we often gain a false sense of power. This false sense of power can leave us addicted to these energies. Leave us addicted to being a victim or on the flipside being the martyr. It can become a part of who you are.
I think it’s safe to say these aren’t the patterns that you would choose if you felt you had a choice. Which is where tapping comes in. Using EFT tapping for resentment is a powerful way to clear out the pattern that is keeping you stuck. Tapping makes the impossible feel possible.
What would your life look like if you could use that extra energy that has been wasted on ruminating for something else? Take a moment here and really consider that thought.
In tapping we call these situations Psychological Reversals (PR). We all have many of these floating around in our minds. All below the level of our consciousness.
Here are a list of the most common PR’s.
(1) It’s not safe to make the change
(2) (a) It’s not possible to have that change or (b) It’s not possible for me to have that change
(3) I don’t deserve to make that change
(4) If I make this change I won’t belong
(5) If I make this change I won’t know who I am
If you recognize yourself in one or more of these, your best bet for success in terms of shifting these (because everything can be shifted) is to find an EFT practitioner that you like and trust to work with. One that feels aligned to you energetically because as an empath or HSP the energy REALLY matters.
Connection between empaths and resentment
As empaths, many of us are over givers. Our boundaries aren’t strong. This leaves us in a position where we wind up feeling resentful. This can also create that sense of co-dependency.
The antidote to this is creating a space where you feel SAFE asking for what you need.