What is an energy vampire?

What is an energy vampire?

Depending on where you are in terms of your empathic journey you may or may not be familiar with this phrase.  Today I’m going to share some insight into this concept as well as give you some idea on how to cope if you notice you have one or two of these sorts of people in your immediate circle.

Many moons ago when I was still working in a corporate world I had an interview where my soon-to-be-boss said to me

This was early on in my spiritual journey during a time where the word empath definitely was not main stream.  The idea of the people who suck energy from you as energy vampires was not what he meant, but the reality of it is that it was.

According to Dr. Judith Orloff “energy vampires exude negative energy that drains you”. Take a moment and consider that definition. We all have moment in life where we aren’t feeling our best. We turn to our friendships to help uplift us. That’s what friendship is. With an energy vampire however there is never a time when they are able to uplift you. In fact, it is entirely possible that you walk away from interactions with them feeling, tried, frustrated, depressed, or even sad.  Depending on your state of sensitivity it is even possible for you to feel physically ill. 

In my practice, I have worked with a few people who I would call violet flames.  They are super high frequency people who are so loving and kind that they find themselves being knocked around quite severely on this earth.  The darkness is especially attracted to them but they have the hardest time seeing it.  In fact they are often the ones who wind up in long term committed relationships with an energy vampire.  You may know someone like this.   The violet flame is seeming much older than their actual years both in physical appearance and demeanor, but their partner seems to be getting younger.  

What kinds of energy vampires are there?

Depending on where you look you might find a few different categories of energetic vampires out there.

These are the five that I believe empaths most often encounter.

1.  The Narcissist – for these people everything is about them (want to find out more about this kind of person?  check out this article my friend Tamara wrote about Narcissism).

2.  The Victim – there is always a story about why awful things keep happening to them and they are never to blame

3.  The Controller – these people work hard to stay in control of you and everything else.  They have strong opinions on how everyone should think and feel about everything.

4.  The constant talker – the people who you just can’t get away from.  They talk, and talk, and talk, at you, rather than with you.

5.  The drama King or Queen – this sort of person always reminds me of high school.  The time in life when everything felt so big and dramatic.

Since empaths have this innate desire and drive to help and heal they often get entangled into relationships with these energetic vampires.  

How can I protect myself?

There are a few tools that will help you protect yourself from these sorts of people.

First look around.  Take Inventory.  

Do you have some of these people in your life?  

Do you notice a pattern of energetic vampires?  

Awareness of these people and their patterns is step number 1. 

Once you realize who they are, tune into your body when you are around them.  Notice how you feel.  Notice how your breath is flowing.  Allow yourself to deepen your breath.  Get present.  

Once you have figured out who they are how they make you feel in your body then it’s time to set some boundaries.  In some cases, this will involve shielding yourself.  

In all cases, once you are strong enough it’s about taking your power back.  Energetic vampires can only take what you giving to them.  As an empath, many of us have spent our whole lives as fixers, or people pleasers.  In order to stand strong in ourselves going forward we need to stop allowing those vampires to feed off us and stand strong in our own power.