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What if being self-compassionate could improve your business?
For the longest time I heard some mean voices in my head. Voices that told me I wasn’t good enough and ensured I never got started with things because the chance of me being successful was slim to none.
Occasionally I still hear those voices. Sometimes they catch me off guard, coming completely unexpectedly.
I am pretty damn grateful that in my current life these voices have moved from being the norm to being the exception.
Growing Up
I grew up in a house where there was a regular display of rage. The rage was often accompanied by physical violence and lots of swearing. Most of this was directed at me.
When I hit my teen years the rage switched to being more around my sexuality. Wearing lipstick meant I was a slut, among other things.
I share this not for you to feel bad for me (although as I write this, I can feel my little girl and have had to take a moment to tell her how much I love her and that she is safe now). I share this so that you know where I am coming from.
I didn’t grow up in a picture-perfect household where everything was roses and sunshine.
Easy to see
After reading that you can probably easily understand that being self compassionate wasn’t something that came easily to me. In fact, my subconscious mind thought perfection was the answer. I got good grades in school. I worked hard at my jobs. I was a good friend. But the pressure I was putting myself under was intense.
My inner critic was on duty 24/7 ensuring that I stayed safe and keeping me in check by ensuring no one could criticize me. For this to work, my world had to stay small. I had to only do the things that I was good at or the things that came easily to me.
Running my own business was not one of those things.
My first business
After the birth of my daughter I knew I didn’t want to work a corporate job anymore. I started teaching baby yoga. From there, I owned and operated an eco-store with my husband.
These businesses were fun (and a ton of work) but for whatever reason I couldn’t make any serious money. I seemed to have a certain income ceiling. When things started to go well, some part of me had to sabotage. This wasn’t conscious of course. It was all playing out in my subconscious mind due to the traumas I had experienced.
Coaching as self compassionate teacher
Once I started to get into the coaching business it became obvious that the negative voices needed to be released.
I needed to be free to try things on to see if they fit.
From business strategy to ways of connecting with my audience, I had to experience spaciousness for all of it. Beating myself up when things didn’t go exactly to plan was not the way I wanted to be treating myself. Nor was that going to be the path to success.
EFT Tapping
When I started using tapping on a regular basis to help with my mindset wobbles, it immediately began to quiet those mean voices. Tapping helped me find a soft body. It helped me make my way to a kind and loving language that nourishes me.
EFT Tapping helped me soften my inner critic.
If you enjoyed this you might also like this post on EFT for trauma survivors.